In this age of comfort, we find ourselves in, unhealthy choices become harder to ignore. With an overabundance of food, drink and various other “pleasure” commodities, men tend to sway to the wrong road, which then forms into a bad habit. This could be smoking, excess drinking or any other “addiction” you can think of.
No matter how many papers come out about who is more susceptible to what, it is clear that these threats exist in men’s lives, and they need to watch out for them. Especially when they are young, as it is the age gap, where men are more lenient to outside influences. Let’s look at the most prominent habits or even addictions that most modern men suffer from, and how to avoid them.
Gambling can be the most fun you’ve ever had, but much like anything else, not keeping it under control can ruin you. Many a time, have we heard about men losing their whole life savings and even their houses thanks to gambling debt and uncontrolled addiction.
This is why a lot of countries restrict gambling activities within their borders and rely on hotspots where it is accepted. For example, if we look at the European gambling market, it is much stricter than the one in the USA (on a federal level). And there is a reason to keep it so restricted. The primary example is the UK, where gambling addiction hits the harders.
In fact, young people are now even more susceptible to gambling addiction thanks to their favourite video games. According to TopeSportsBettingSites, many 18 to 25 year-olds spend most of their money on video game transactions, which usually act as gambling activities disguised as “reward systems”.
This was the case when several websites were closed down for running a CS: GO gambling ring.
As you can see the gambling industry is clever enough to find new ways to attract more customers. Therefore a man himself needs to know how to avoid these mechanics.
How to beat the gambling habit
Although it may sound cheesy, gambling habits are usually better solved during their initial phases. For example, if you find yourself overly excited over failures, due to them being very close to victory, you can definitely tell that you are more susceptible.
For example, let’s say that you are at work and the manager decided that he or she wants to send somebody home for the day, as a day off. You line up with your co-workers and wait for the decision. The co-worker that is right next to you gets chosen, and instead of experiencing some kind of grief, you experience excitement, thinking that “Wow, I nearly got sent home for the day, maybe tomorrow I can win”. This is exactly how gamblers think, which is pretty much the state of the human mind. We build on mistakes and try to improve them, but when it is out of our control, it just turns into gambling. The games you find in casinos are designed to be exactly like that, to let you experience near victory, to entice you to try again until they run you dry.
Pay attention to how you react to different failures and deduce whether or not you should even consider entering a Casino.
But now let’s say that you are already deep into gambling addiction. What do you do now? This is also going to sound very cheesy, but it’s best to get a different hobby for a couple of months, if not years.
The human mind, although good at multi-tasking, is very narrow in a sense. If you burden yourself with something else to think about, the gambling addiction is sure to go away. But the hardest thing is to start, that’s why the community circles are so helpful, they help to alleviate your mind from wanting to gamble. If you’re able to focus on something completely different, you will definitely overcome the addiction.
Men are usually more susceptible to becoming bored with the status quo. This is why we see so many cheating issues in different families and commitments to a single job. However, this is more applicable to modern men as Baby Boomers have already learned their ropes, that sticking to one thing and one thing only was effective.
However, nowadays, being good at only one thing or devoting yourself to only 1 aspect of your life is a lot harder. Thanks to technology, the attention span of most humans, especially men is a lot wider. Meaning that everybody notices more and gets a lot more information during the day than they should.
This can be described as the formula for the mid-life crisis for most men. Hearing about various experiences that friends, family and even complete strangers share on their social media, creates a feeling of inefficiency. Seeing somebody younger than you make more money or lead a more interesting life is often depressing when you’re sitting at a desk job. But in all honesty, other peoples’ experiences displayed on Social media are just the surface of their character. In order to overcome the feeling of “I’m not enough”, men should limit the amount of info they subject themselves to.
How to improve commitment
As already mentioned, commitment becomes very hard for men who are married. Usually, marriage is a sign of stability in the life of a man, at least it should be. The hunt for a partner is over and the building of that relationship begins. However, some men start off on the wrong foot and jeopardize the relationship way before it even begins, and tend to not regret it afterwards. This is due to unclear goals in life. That’s why most people will tell you to marry in your 30s and not your 20s. Marriages tend to be a lot more stable that way.
But, if a man rushes into a relationship and takes it to the next step, he will most likely find it very hard to maintain it 5 or 10 years in it.
The best way to avoid this issue is to get the message across immediately and wait for the opportune moment. The eagerness of youth should not be considered as readiness. You may be ready to marry that girl, but are you ready to maintain that marriage? That is what every man needs to ask themselves.
The best way to avoid the habit of no commitment is to avoid it in the first place. Realize that you are open to change in your 20s, and plan ahead for stability in your 30s. There’s no need to rush.
Self-doubt is probably the broadest bad habit in a sense. It is mostly acquired during childhood when parents are way too strict with their children. In childhood, relying on your parents to guide you is fine, but once grown up, every man needs to be able to find his own way around life.
Thanks to that bad habit of doubting oneself, making decisions becomes impossible without external input or support.
Men who second guess themselves are usually left single for the majority of their lives, therefore this habit is mostly self-destructive rather than influencing a group or a family. Self-doubt usually stems from the fear of failure, which was reinforced during childhood. If something went wrong, then the child would be punished, rather than lectured. Seeing the price that failure costs, most men then avoid risks completely.
This hinders their character development and leaves them pretty much one-dimensional, which is destructive in every way. Both physically and mentally.
How to gain more confidence
This habit is probably the hardest to overcome, as it is basically a mental imprint on the man’s mind. It will be a struggle against your own personality to become somebody you aren’t, but somebody who is better.
The one and the only way to do this is to subject yourself to new experiences. For example, men who take the step of leaving their jobs to go travelling, tend to come back with a lot more experience and confidence thanks to their newly found knowledge. They understand that they’ve become a lot more interesting and full of stories, which leads to better conversations, better social life and in conclusion, reinforces the confidence that was newly found.
The beginning of this process is also extremely hard. The best way to do it is to take it step by step. Take a vacation alone somewhere you’ve never been. Avoid any types of guides or tours around the city or the country and try to rely on your ability to gather information. This not only leads to the best travelling experience but also reinforces the confidence in one’s abilities to overcome challanges. Overall, a new experience is the only way to overcome this habit.
As you can see, the habits listed above carry different weights and have different meanings. For example, gambling is destructive not only on a personal level but on a family level as well. It is the most dangerous. Self-control needs to always be in check.
Commitment issues damage the family the most, as most men are not aware of their guilt after a break-up or an argument. This leads to difficulties in forming relationships, and further leads to personal grief when older.
Self-doubt is completely personal, however. Family is out of the question in the first place, as men without confidence tend to fail at forming one in the beginning. Thanks to their reinforced habit in their childhood, achieving something significant becomes harder and harder. But even small achievements like “making your bed in the morning” is used to counter that habit.
There are other habits like smoking, drinking and etc. But these 3 are probably the catalysts of them all. Overcome these and you’ll be well on your way to a more fulfilling life.